I'm Not Good Enough...
If you’ve ever had the thought “I’m not good enough” then you’re not alone! This comes up in lots of different guises, by which I mean it’s often packaged differently…not showing up exactly as the words “I’m not good enough”.
Instead, you might think that someone else is more talented or skilled than you. Or they know a lot more about business than you. Or they’ve had so much more training or support. Or they’re so much more qualified. Need I go on?
And these thoughts often surface when we’re comparing ourselves to others, unfavourably.
Or when something goes wrong and we attribute it to ourselves. To things we did or didn’t do or say. Things we should or could have done to prevent it.
It doesn’t seem to matter whether you’re self-employed, run your own business, or manage a team. In fact in non-work contexts too, most of us compare ourselves unfavourably to others, much more commonly than the other way around.
And when we do this we rarely compare like with like. It’s often more like comparing apples to pears. They might look the same or similar on the outside, but in fact they’re different, inside and out.
We, like fruit, take time to develop, and we need nourishment to grow. However that’s where the similarities end.
We forget that we’re unique. We’re not the same, we’re different. We don’t operate in the exact same environment, in the exact same way as anyone else. We come from different backgrounds, often have cultural differences, and receive different nurturing.
We’ve been exposed to different influences. We’ve interpreted what’s happened to us in different ways by attributing different meanings to the relationships and circumstances in our life, and to our own thoughts and feelings.
In short, we compare our inner world to someone else’s outward success.
Even though this is not about the other person, if we were to ask them how successful they feel, we’d probably hear things like.…”I’m muddling along.” “I’m not really sure what I’m doing.” “I’m just doing what seems to work.”
It’s rare in my experience, for someone to accurately pinpoint their own role in their success. Many of us operate under the misguided belief that we are fully in control. Meaning the circumstances of our life or business and all that happens to us, is purely down to us.
However those with a more accurate account might surprise you…they might acknowledge the role of mindset, in terms of their thoughts and thinking patterns, or their self-belief. Their understanding of what works for them, often discerned through trial and error, testing out what works for others and from their own failures. The focus they put on their own health and wellbeing. The support they have (or had) from a coach, mentor, trusted adviser or guide.
So the next time you look to others and compare yourself unfavourably, remember that you’re unique.i.e. you’re rarely comparing like with like.
Explore whether you’re really lacking in a skill, or set of skills, you have a knowledge gap, or a lack of understanding. Or whether your mindset, and the way you think about yourself, your life and your business, might be the biggest mitigating factor.
And if it is, consider getting a solid ‘thinking’ foundation. And a way, or ways, of looking after your own well-being.
If this means reaching out for help, be specific in your ask, and ask for what will really help…not what others tell you, but rather what you sense will be right for you.
Of course you can always take what might seem the easier or more logical option - that of seeking more knowledge, skills, qualifications, or the latest tactic or gadget - when in fact, mindset support, or getting to know yourself better, might be more helpful and lead you more quickly to what you truly want.
Whatever you choose, please do remember that you ARE as good as anyone. In the sense that you’re worthy of success and happiness (you were born that way.)
And, you have the capacity to reach your potential, regardless of what’s gone before, or how you currently feel about yourself or your future.
And if you’re lacking in something….knowledge, a particular skill, or a mindset that supports you to be productive, joyful and resilient. Then these are all attainable. But only...
If you go within. If you ask for help. If you’re discerning.
So be clear about what you want, and know who you’re asking, because all business people are not equal, and neither are all businesses.